Quotes by Groucho Marx
| I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGN ... | Read Full Quote |
| Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. ... | Read Full Quote |
| From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it d ... | Read Full Quote |
| Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone c ... | Read Full Quote |
| I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't ... | Read Full Quote |
| A child of five would understand this. Send someone to ... | Read Full Quote |
| Go, and never darken my towels again. ... | Read Full Quote |
| I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to ... | Read Full Quote |
| I find television very educating. Every time somebody t ... | Read Full Quote |
| It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in ... | Read Full Quote |
| Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... ... | Read Full Quote |
| She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surge ... | Read Full Quote |
| My mother loved children -- she would have given anythi ... | Read Full Quote |
| Women should be obscene and not heard. ... | Read Full Quote |
| Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I ... | Read Full Quote |
| Military justice is to justice what military music is t ... | Read Full Quote |
| Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. ... | Read Full Quote |
| Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside o ... | Read Full Quote |